The Ten Commandments
Of Happy Discussing

Or, How To Be A Sport And Not Spoil The Fun

(1) Aim higher. Enlightenment is the goal, not showing off what you know. If you cannot convince someone, blame it on yourself. It’s either your position is weak, your discussion is poor, your presentation is faulty – or all of the above. Do some more research: Click that mouse. Go to the library. Ask.

(2) Open your mind. The name of the game is discussion. The process is important for the enlightenment to occur, so let it flow. Then, either you will open the mind of someone else, or that someone else will open yours. Learn to thank God for the learning.

(3) Don’t take on all comers. Stop! Don’t try to answer all the questions, explain all the complexities, lead all the discussions that are open. You are not omniscient; you are not perfect – none of us is. Relax! It’s good for the heart.

(4) Clean up your act. Make Your Mama Proud (MYMP): That’s the name of a popular band in Manila. They are rockers; they are original; they are clean; they are good. You can be brighter, original, clean and good too. And please make sure you say what you mean, and you mean what you say. And yes, correct grammar is always welcome, but it's the least of your worries.

(5) Illuminate, not assassinate. Explain by example, explain by analogy, explain with all your might. When you resort to name-calling, you don’t clarify your point – you only scarify the other person. Look for better things to say, not bitter.

(6) Enhance, not adulterate. Don’t dilute the arguments of the other party. Rather, try and strengthen your own. The point is not to win but to succeed. Otherwise, you can win the debate, but not succeed in renewing your mind, not grow up.

(7) Produce, not abrogate. Read, meditate, observe some more to get more ideas. If it’s negative, try and look for the positive; if it’s positive and it’s against your position, admit it. If it hurts so bad, at least don’t simply deny what the other side has said or pretend that it wasn’t said at all.

(8) Witness truly, not prevaricate. Supply the information if you can, and cite your source, but don’t invent when you run out of supply. Grow up!

(9) Appreciate, not denigrate. Don’t let your pride get in the way of admiring what doesn’t happen to be yours – a strong position, a neat argument, or an informed view of the other discussant. Sooner or later you will meet someone who knows more, or argues better than you. Acknowledge that – and you will make two people happy: him and you.

(10) Look for beauty everywhere. Get on with life! Whether you win or lose in a discussion or debate, look at it with rose-colored glasses. Take a bow, and then aim higher still.