(3) Ways

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I shall love you, in other ways, as I translate your
(1) thoughts into an admirable article – as your Writer.
(2) manuscript into publishable pages – as your Editor.
(3) rough draft into an enviable book – as your Publisher.
(4) technical into popular language – as your Rewriter.
(5) training needs into visible skills – as your Facilitator.
(6) demo needs into one-day wonders – as your Nerd; a
Computer Wizard, I can be an invisible worker for you.
(7) problems into solutions. as your Consultant.
And I shall but love thee better after edit.

(2) Windows

I love what I do. Let me tell me about
the 7 things I can do in that magical world of
Microsoft Windows & Microsoft Word -- and the
Wide Wonderful World of the Internet.

(1) Writing – I do write-ups and write-downs. Write-ups:
I do an interview and an article comes out in 24 hours. That fast. Write-downs: I read your article or manuscript and an abstract comes out in 25 minutes. That fast. (2) Editing – Edit while you wait if you like, in your office or home (if you have a computer), or right where you are (if you have a laptop). (3) Publishing – I can turn your manuscript into copies ready for distribution or sale within 3 months. (4) Translations – From rough to polished English; from Tagalog to English and vice versa; from Ilocano to English and vice versa. (5) Workshop facilitation – I can do a workshop on (a) writing, (b) editing, (c) newslettering, (d) book publishing, (e) files management. And any or all of that using the personal computer (PC). (6) One-Day Wonder – I can do a short workshop or lecture-demo on creative writing, creative editing, creative newslettering, creative book publishing, files management for 100 people – with the aid of 1 PC and 1 LCD projector. (7) Consulting – As long as it has anything to do with words and ideas and it can be typed on the computer, I can help you. Online or onsite, it's your choice. You know what? The first time we meet, no commitment necessary: Advice is free. Try me!

(1)
Who, Me?

In other words, like I'm Writer #700
(features) of the American Chronicle.

I have so far published 6 articles in the American Chronicle; no rejections, no pink slips (Click the link below to read). As a writer, I have been writing since high school, and that was 50 years ago. I'm 66 this year. Technical subject, popular subject, I've done them all, from A (Animal Husbandry) to Z (Zone Alarm). In other words, writing was my first love; it has always been. And do I revise what I write? Of course! I'm not perfect. Do you know how many times I revised this page? More than 200 times (the first 257 hits in my counter). As a translator, who is a writer in disguise, I recently translated into English (and wrote a book besides) Jose Rizal's valedictory poem which I retitled 'Adios, Patria Adorada' (Adios, Beloved Patria) - if you want a free copy, email me (see top right column for the address). I also love to translate technical papers into popular articles - there is that feeling of achievement that goes with it. It's a gift.

As a blogger, I have so many blogsites, each one an extension of myself and my many interests. Would you believe 22? Variety is the spice of life in the Internet, and in an Ilocano like me. In other words, your concern has probably already interested me greatly.

As an editor, I have been founding editor of a color magazine (Habitat, a quarterly), newsletter (Canopy, a monthly) and a technical journal in forestry (Sylvatrop, a quarterly) for the Forest Research Institute (now ERDB) of the Department of Agriculture and Natural Resources (now DENR). I have edited so many theses (highest grade: 1) and dissertations (highest grade: 1.25, University of the Philippines). I am currently the Editor in Chief of the Philippine Journal of Crop Science. I was the one who made that 3-year late technical peer-reviewed journal into an up-to-date publication. I also masterminded the creation and databasing of extended abstracts of this 30-year old journal, the abstracts beginning in March 1976 and ending at the current year, 2006. It's all in 1 CD, my idea. I also created the website for it: CROPScience Philippines.

As a photographer, I learned professional photography on the job for the publications I was editing. To improve my skill, I studied the works of masters (painters) like Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo and Van Gogh while I was teaching at Xavier University in Cagayan de Oro City in Mindanao, Southern Philippines. At that time, 1968, they already had an excellent library at Xavier. In other words, I'm a good student myself.

As a teacher, I am a BSA graduate major in AgEd, UP; I wasn't too proud of that. I passed the very first Civil Service Teacher's Exam in 1965, 80.6%; I was proud of that. I taught high school (UP Rural High, Pampanga National Agricultural School, Asingan High School), and I taught college (UP Los Baños, Xavier University). I wrote my own syllabi in Floriculture, Horticulture, Olericulture, Scientific Reporting.

As a copywriter, I worked for Pacifica Publicity Bureau when it was still on top (no thanks to me). My good friend Orlino 'Orli' Ochosa and I learned a lot from Nonoy Gallardo and Teddy Bernardo, thank you very much. Orli gifted me with Edward De Bono's book, Mechanism Of Mind, and that changed my mental state from critical to creative.

As a computer wizard ... Ah, here I'm a self-made man, so God is not responsible for my mistakes. I can do word processing and practical desktop publishing with Microsoft Windows and Microsoft Word mostly: brochure, newsletter, book, annual report, proposal. Today, I can make Word XP jump through hoops (not to mention Windows XP). Stylesheet? Outlining? Columns? Mixed columns? Table? Sections? Table of Contents? Just a minute. Missing files? Give me 0.28 second. It's been a trial-and-error thing, but I've been a teacher willing to teach myself. And you can learn from my mistakes: no tuition fee necessary. You didn't ask, but as a father of 13 with 1 wife, I have had quite an education! I thank God for them, for today, for the computer, for the Internet - and for my country.

Frankenisms

First posted 15 April 2006 in Frankenstein, now deleted
Image from The Dark Side who captions it ‘Suffering City’ (flickr.com/)

(1) If it's impossible, it's love.
(2) Hate hits back.
(3) Cry and cry again.
(4) Learn from your mistakes – nobody else will.
(5) If you grab, it becomes slippery.
(6) Two roads don’t make a right.
(7) When you're doing badly, you can't quit.
(8) Laziness is when you don't.
(9) Numbers don’t count – people do.
(10) Don't quit – rather, stop awhile.
(11) If anything can go wrong, you will.
(12) You see more if you don’t look.
(13) A one-word lesson from gardeners? Diversity.
(14) Learn from your mistakes – nobody else will.
(15) Two roads don’t make a right.
(16) Numbers don’t count – people do.
(17) If anything can go wrong, you will.
(18) Truth is just around the corner – don’t cut.
(19) I shrink, therefore I am.
(20) All the world’s a stage – if you’re acting.
(21) The moral of the fable is? Folk wisdom.
(22) The first mistake is not to try.
(23) Peace is May, War is Might.
(24) Google Earth shows it’s a small world.
(25) When you smile, you smile to yourself.
(26) 50% of the world hates. Love 100%.
(27) You create your own thoughts.
(28) To think creatively, don’t think.
(29) How do you translate a poem? With heart.
(30) How do you stop the rain? You don’t.
(31) Divided we stand, united we fall.
(32) I thank, therefore I am.
(33) What makes great writing? Great thinking.
(34) What triggers a viral attack? A weak body.

Ways Of Seeing, Ways Of Saying

All moved from WaysOfSeeingWaysOfSaying, now deleted.
Image from Agnieszka who captions it 'Endless rain, endless rain' (flickr.com/)

23 March 2006

Equals?
Equality: Same Same.
Equity: Some Some.

The Eternal Blog: Yours: You’re assuming too much.
The Endless Blog: Mine: I’m assuming too much.

If you want to be forgotten, do good.
If you want to be remembered, do bad.

Packaging: The box is not the thing.
The box: The box is not the thing.

Global warming: People warming up to each other, friends and foes alike.
Global warning: Nobody was listening.

Prisoner abuse: The convict abused his wife.
Prisoner abuse: The convict abused his parole.

Concern for Iraq: Concern for the people.
Concern for Iraq: Concern for the bastards.

GM, Delphi, Dell buyouts: The new buy & sell economics.
GM, Delphi, Dell buyouts: The big fish swallowing the small.

Crocodiles: Human predators.
Crocodiles: Inhuman predators.

The passion of Christ: The Agony.
The passion of Christ: The Ecstasy.

Knowledge: ( )
EU bans 92 airlines from Europe: Go fly a kite.
Microsoft delays release of Vista: Something they can’t do without.
Microsoft delays release of Vista: Something I can do without.

Google syndrome: If you want to be creative and love technology at the same time, think like Google and be at different places all at the same time. When you finally collect your thoughts, you’ll find golden grains in the sands of your time.

Microsoft Xbox targets a wider audience: Playing games with you.
The news is what you make of it.

Terrorism: The ghoul outside.
Terrorism: The ghoul inside.

Google: Rewriting the search.
Google: Rewriting the searcher.

American Idol: The darling of idol busters, iconoclasts.
Labor protests: The gentlemen protest too much!

21 March 2006

auties.org::Individuality, Diversity, Equality, Achievement. IDEA. Another idea: ID(E)A E for Equity, which is easier to measure; (E) for the Enigma that enclasps and won't let go an autistic person.

17 March 2006

Winning.
Winning is the defeat of another.
Directions: Where you don’t want to go.
Covered walk: Trappings.
Newsletter: A love message.

Teaspoon: When you’re not in a hurry.
Tablespoon: When you are.

Extreme: Finishing early.
Barber: Have scissors, will massage.
BMW: A name to thrust.
Cup of coffee: Gulping partner.
Fried chicken: Wings.

Roller table: As you wish.
Coins: Pocket money.
Cell phone: Caller ID. (status symbol)
Wheelchair: I’m glad you’re not for me.

Teen trouble: Parent trap.

Drugs: Forgetting yourself.
Depression: Wallowing in the mud of your own making.

Secret weapon: ( )
Internet: Speed thrills.
A small child, you were once.
Contest: Winning by somebody else’s formula.

Ray Bradbury syndrome: If you want to be creative and hate technology at the same time, think like him. By word association. ‘He simply takes the words that come to mind and writes and writes’ (‘A map of the brain,’ Mccomas, klm.antville.org/). An excellent beginning.

Separate Peace: Everyone marching to a different drummer.
Capital punishment: Head snapping.
Innovation: Trying times.

Resources: What you value.
Resources: What you miss to value.

Servers: In the end, you serve yourself.
Health science: Doctor’s order.
Betrayal: A sudden turn for the worst.
Deja vu: Repeat performance.

College graduates: Solutions looking for problems.
Morning show: It’s the coffee, stupid.
Lifestyle: It’s not what you show; it’s what you are.

Business: Doing good, not necessarily doing well.
Proper perspective: Nice view you have here!
Identical: You lack identifiers.
Rigorous training: The trainer was exhausted.
Perfect pitch: Great buy!

Numbers: They got your number.
Crash: It didn’t happen to you.
Faults: Fancy that!

For the worse: It means you didn’t see any better.
Helpful fixer: Don’t fix the part – fix the whole.

Bookworm: Reading between the lines.
Bandit vs bandit: Robber match.

Mastermind: Grappling with choices.
Disease: Pleasures of the flesh.
Altar: A depressant. (of the ego)
Music beat: Can the sound be more important than the space?

Drummer: Silence come alive.
It’s not your world – it’s ours.
Closing: It’s not the end.

Notes: This time.
Sentence: It’s the end that matters.

Combat: A reminder of your mortality.
Military: A reminder of your brutality.

Thoughtful: Thinking ahead.
Bamboo grove: The multiplier effect.
Politician: Chameleon in the dark.
Faster: Relative.
Survive: Ultimately you survive yourself.
Check: Roses on paper.
Time: It’s what you have when you don’t have time for it.

Dealing: A win-lose situation.
Sharing: A win-win situation.

Editor: The writer’s pal or the writer’s fool.
Letter: It can be an email or the heart.
Runaway: In the end, you catch up with yourself.
Buy: Consider the options.
Rent: A nice, good 4-lettter word.

Contest: If you enter one, you’re already a loser.
Rules: It’s what people expert others to follow.
Teaching: A profession everyone thinks he’s good at.
Fellowship: It’s good to the last drop.

Education: Grasping meaning, not straws.
Score card: Counting numbers, not relevance.

Front: Depends on where your back is turned.
Coast: A place to stop.
Memo: A reminder to mind somebody’s business.
Reforms: When people want to change things, not themselves.
Future: It’s the past, which is today.

Science. When we think we know better.

Kermit the Frog: Delighting yourself.
Stop: The end of a sentence, a story, or a book.

Buying: When you think it’s the best choice.
View: Careful that you’re looking at the essence of it, not simply the framework.
Time: It’s between you and me.
After: What comes next, or later, much later.
Betrayed: Your choices can betray you.

Minority: The minority is not always right, but it can be better yet.
Meaning: It’s the measure, stupid.
Feeling: It’s related.
Province: Where you are even when you’re not around.
Advisory: Take my word for it: Advice is good for you.

Teenagers: People adults don’t understand.
Adults: People teenagers don’t understand.

Sex: If you think your teenager is having it, it’s too late.
Discrimination: It’s what you allow yourself into.

Anger.
Anger management is barking at the wrong tree.
Booze: When you bring your battle to the bottle.
Gays: Their kind of fun.
Alcohol: It can burn you.

Eating disorder: It’s not the eating, it’s the eater.
School: A place to grow, or only a place to stay a while.

Friends: If you lose a friend, he wasn’t at all.
Problem: Temporary insanity.
Perspective: Look for the link, not simply the look.
Perspective: What you see is what you get.
Exchanges: What you say is what you get.
Taking stock of the situation: A good measure of what you are.

Notes of discord: That’s music waiting to be written.
Peer review: What if you are better, or deeper, or original?
Peer review: One of the baddest inventions/conventions of science. It discourages originality.
Screening: Separating the chaff from the grain – but you can’t have grain without the chaff.

Steve Jobs: The man who made it his pleasure to entertain himself and, therefore, others.
The iPod: Small wonder. It’s Steve Jobs in disguise.

Black holes: Secrets of the dark.
White holes: Bugs in the rice.

Encyclopedia: ( )
Ambition: Castle in the head.
Imagination: It’s all in the head if you can’t take it to heart.
The inquiring mind: Do you mind?.

Steve Jobs syndrome: If you want to be creative and love technology at the same time, think like him and love what you are doing. ‘You’ve got to find what you love,’ he says. Follow your curiosity and intuition. When you lose, you still have the love.

Nobel Prize: Art or science according to the experts.
Land: The best managed can be the one abandoned.
Climate: What can you do about it? Live well.

People: Who you value.
People: Who you miss to value.

Government: The system everyone thinks he can change.
Government: The system everyone can change if everyone changed.

Past history: The thing that happened to your ancestors.
Present history: It’s called news and everyone tries to make it.

Wall: What separates people in time..
Opinion: What separates people in truth.

War: What countries would go to stop it.
Kinds of war: Classifying your guilt.

Distance: The distance worth measuring is from desire to desire.
Strategy: A brilliant plan without guarantees.
Pulp: What makes it important is the meaning you put into it.
Computing: Calculating.
Magic: Believing what you don’t know.

Brotherhood: A storehouse of love.
Brotherhood: A storehouse of hate.

Stupidity: Naivety misunderstood.

Broadcasting: Seeds to grow.
Broadcasting: Weeds to grow.

Crowd: Out of control.
Audience: In control.

Controlled burning: Checked-in hate.
Phenomenon: Talent suddenly shown? No, talent suddenly being noticed.
Spider: A bad metaphor for advanced searchers of information in the Internet.

16 March 2006

Brave.
Brave men tell no tales. Women too.
Laziness: Consider it done.
Criminal’s dilemma: The crook of the matter.
Action: Speaks louder than loud.

Driver: Don’t drink!
Drinker: Don’t drive!

Cheating: Group work.
Home schooling: ABC begins at home.
Drilling: Digging the same hole deeper.
Mouse: Tracking device.
Monitor: Big Brother is watching.

Crocodile Hunter: Haunted.
Paperboat: Dreamboat.
Grasping at straws: Desperate measures.
Crisis management: Dangerous liaisons.

Masquerade: Multiple disguises.

Singing with a wig: Musical hairs.
Smiling: Making yourself feel better.

Deep Thought: A paradox, since you can go there only when you’re not thinking of going there.
Don’t think! says Ray Bradbury.
Unthink, say I.
Lateral think, says Edward De Bono.
We’re thinking the same think.
If you want to be creative, think thoughtless thoughts.

Donna Williams syndrome: If you want to be creative, think autistic. Meaning how? No sequence, no logic, no corrections, no prompting. That is why thinking autistic is the perfect modern metaphor for a creative mind at work. (And that is the copywriter in me, turning a negative into a positive.)

Separate Peace: Everyone marching to a different drummer.
Capital punishment: Head snapping.
Bored listener: Hot seat

Consumer electronics: It consumes you.
Television: Idiot’s box.
Listening to the radio: Speaker-engaged.
Attention span: Pregnant pause.
Crackpot: He’s not what he’s cracked up to be.
Strumming a guitar: A way to pluck your way to fame.

Pair of love birds: Barefoot in the park.
Fisherman: Master of the Bait.
Fish: Bait-listed.
Crucial: Skip at your peril.
Escape artist: Looser as winner.
An indefatigable escape artist: A looser never quits.
Wallet: Container shape.
Loud speaker: Dummy.

Dog food: Canine fodder.
Phone call: This is a pick-up.
High poster ads: Tall Tales.

Hedge: It becomes more important when it’s not there.
Temptation: Moving people who are not moving.

Losing candidate: Running under a false impression.
Advertising campaign: Making a lasting impression.

Money: Paper & ink & faith.
Tailgater: Blind follower.
Barbecue thrown at someone: Heat-seeking missile.
Wake-up call: Because you’re sleeping.

Superhighway: It leads you even to where you don’t want to go.
In the net is not in the bag.
Conversation: Reassuring relationships or making new ones.

Dry soil: Mud cake.
Parched earth: Empty stomach.
Parched earth: Proof that water is food

Leaves: Catchers of the light.
Bamboo grove: The multiplier effect.
Sugarcane field at dawn: Sugar in the morning.
Cross-country: Tracking your mind.
Barbed wire: Invisible barrier.
White sand: Rampaging river.
Pool of water: Running water.
Monocycle, bicycle, tricycle: When you’re counting wheels.
Towel: Sign of water.

Banana Republic: Better be good!
Building a fence: A defining moment.
People in the shade: Cooler heads.
Heaven’s Gate: You’re either dreaming or dead.
Beast of burden: Animal labor.

Possessive pronouns: Pronouns don’t possess; people do.
Passing fancy: Goodbye glues.
Victory: The defeat of someone or something.
Carcinogen: It must have been something you ate.

Passing cars: You’re either enjoying the view or not moving.
Climbing Mt Everest: The summit is inside you.
Cake: The baker’s delight.
Golden apple snail: Don’t add water.
Burning rice hull: Burning soil.
Lot for sale: Sign of good times.
Acacia tree: If it couldn’t wait, it wouldn’t grow.

How long is a trailer truck? As long as necessary.

Elementary school: Where they don’t teach you the basics of life.
Basic education: Where they don’t teach you the fundamentals of living.

Tiles: Squared reference points.
Glass: Something to break or something to see through.
Village: Where people live or where people love.
Ricefield to subdivision: Food versus shelter.
Pigs in the pond: It’s the food.

Gasoline station: Where they fill you up as well as empty you.
Stalled vehicle: Motion sickness.
Bank: Keeper of secrets.
Balloon: Hot air rising.
Aircon: Cold comfort.
Buildings are people.

Children: They have no problems except adults.
Adults: They have no problems except children.

Leaves of grass: Walt Whitman’s song, my food.
Fiesta: A celebration of sorts.
Landscaping: Man-made nature.
Juxtaposition: When wrong connections make sense.

21 March 2006.

23 March 2006. Today, I claim inventing The Endless Blog. Like I wrote Kristine A: Entries to jog your mind, not convince you; change your perspective, not change your mind; give you variety, not fill you up. Gets Google-longer & looonger. The Endless Blog? I say not out of frustration but design. I also invented 'Google-longer' just now.